Every once in a while, I get a little down about things. I find myself wondering what I am doing here; just what was it that possessed me to move to a place where 90% of the people here do not understand a word I'm saying, even when I am able to express myself in Spanish. I can't help but wonder if I will ever overcome this language handicap I have created for myself. And why did I hook up with a guy who works 6 days a week, goes to classes in the evenings and is one of those guys with the best of intentions but no follow-through? What makes me think I can make a positive difference in any one's life, when I'm so un-together in my own life? Why did I move from my cute little brick house in Cheyenne, where I had a big back yard and a nice front yard, possibilities for a second career, and family not too far away but not too close for comfort, a car, almost everything I don't have here? I'm stuck in this tiny flat with a demon puppy that is teething and pooping like there's no tomorrow. I left the few friends that I have to come here, and I miss them. The people here who say they are my friends are more likely Omar's friends who accept me as they accept the furniture in our apartment.
So now it's time to remember that I have been given so much...
I was given the opportunity to CHOOSE where I live, and I chose to live here. I was given, somehow, a wonderfully gentle and understanding man for a husband, who seems to love me very much and helps me in whatever way he can. I have a very nice home of my own here, when many others do not, and still am able to afford to keep my house in Cheyenne. I have a beautiful daughter who is making her own life and doing quite well. I have been able to find work (when others have not) that sometimes makes me feel like I am helping others. I am able to continue working in the fiber stuff as I choose to and love to, and help Suzzanne and Maggie continue with theirs. Although living in this enormous city is really, really scary for me, I have not been bothered by any malevolent people. I have a little loving dog that will become a great friend and is well on the way to being that friend now, even if every photo of her has wicked red eyes (she's not really a demon). I still have a great and understanding family in the US, and have even more family now, here in Peru.
4 comments:
Otay, red eye all gone, go check your email I fixed her eyes... I think your using the flash on the cam. and that gives red eye.
Next... I have friends from childhood, Nancy and Wendy. We have been dear friends since I was 3 and they both 2 years old... BUT
I made a friend as an adult who I find most amazing. She is lovely inside and out, she can knit things and make them look like they should, i.e. hats, sweaters...
She has more courage then I could ever muster up, she moved, for LOVE to a third world country knowing she would have to do without SO MANY things we totally expect to have in the USA. Hot water on the TOP of that list !!
* always thank God you have a bathroom and toilet *
Kathy, I miss you too... more then you know, and even tho we did more talking via email then in person, it's very different having your friend across town then over the sea !! BUT...
I'm so deeply proud of you !! you can speak Spanish, enough to survive, I'd be a dead fish out of water by now over there... You carry yourself with pride, and you do not allow yourself to look like a victim, Your tall and self assured... If I was a short guy looking for someone to rob or hurt, I would NOT pick you !!
Your teaching is a gift you know, sharing your gift with others who wish to learn English. WOW !! I find that so amazing.
As for finding a man who works 6 days a week... ummm, I'm thinking that's good, trust me, living in the same house with someone 24/7 and NOT killing them takes a lot of strength LOL.
So for now, as this amazing man you have works to keep his wife happy and is working to improve himself for You, enjoy that time... once they retire you wish men would work forever LOL so enjoy that time for YOU !!
I love you and miss you and I'm so glad you followed your dream hon, and we are all here, email is a click away and CO and WY will be here when you come visit. I promise !!
HUGS and Smiles, Lisa Catherine
I read your blog most every day. I love the photo of Celeste. Such a pretty dog!
This blog entry helps me put my life in perspective today. I will soon be engaged to be married and my whole life is going to change. I'm 40 years old and I'm used to being the "never-married single gal" who calls all the shots. Since my boyfriend owns his house, and the housing market sucks right now, I'm moving to his place and getting used to a whole new life.
I'm pretty afraid of all the changes that are going to take place. I like the life I created for myself and within the next 6-8 months it will be the life "we" created and I won't be calling all the shots anymore.
He is a wonderful guy so it is worth it but sometimes when you focus on all you've lost you loose sight of what you've gained. It is good to look at the postive. Thanks for pointing that out in your blog.
Take care, Laura
You are an inspiration! Not many could start again in a foreign land - you are awesome!
I learned long ago that visiting a place and living there are two entirely different things and that cultural differences can be very hard on the psyche at times. What sounds like a exciting adventure (living in Peru!!!) is possibly not as romantic as it sounds. What in the heck would anyone do with car head rests???? I can't imagine there's a black market for them.
By the way, I LOVE that capelet. My friend and I saw someone wearing one at an art show and we were trying to find a pattern.
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