Today Celeste turned her nose up at her lunch. Nope, no thank you, no dog food for me today. Okay fine, Ms. Blue Eyes. You think you're so smart, I'll just pick the food bowl up, like the vet said to do, and you do without until suppertime. Celeste trotted out of the kitchen and tossed a look at me over her shoulder. That's right, I'm a BIG DOG now. I don't eat dog food anymore. Poo poo on you. I got it all figured out.
So, hmm, I says, hmm...and I sit down to eat my own lunch. Celeste wandered around the house and in and out of the kitchen, not even LOOKING at me eating...how odd. I walk towards the kitchen and hear a rustling. Celeste comes out of the kitchen before I get there. It's fine, everything's just fine. Nothing to see here, move along. I'm not hungry. Nope, she says, nope. Don't worry about me. I can do for myself. I'm a BIG dog now.
I sit back down to eat and hear that rustling again. This time I make it into the kitchen before she can drag her nose OUT OF THE TRASHCAN, and then her hind feet are suddenly grabbed up in the air and she goes HEADFIRST into the trashcan that not only contains food scraps, but also WAY more of her own now inedible (thankfully) and very stinky BIG DOG poop. AND...she gets a BIG DOG spanking while she's headfirst in her own excrement. Smart little Ms. Celeste screams, but her cries are muffled by many rolls of used potty papers and so no neighbors race to her rescue. Then she's jerked out of the garbage by her tail and the scruff of her neck, which is something that happens to PUPPIES - don't you know that? - and her pride, her butt, and her nose are all suffering so....oh, the shame of it all, oh the pain of it all, she cries...
Phooey. No trash can lunch and no dog food lunch either. Wah. Ms. Blue Eyes is sitting out the noon hour in her room, pouting. I took the trash out, too, so no more gourmet snacks to be had today.
Move along now. Nothing to see here. Just a BIG dog, 4 months old now, that's right, 4 big ones...taking care of herself...cleaning herself up while sitting there on time out.