Jun 25, 2007

when conversation breaks down

I have recently had the experience of someone becoming so angry with me that this person was unable to see anything, except what they had in their minds. Conversation broke down to the point where I was unable to share my thoughts with them. I'm not sure what kind of response was expected from me and was afraid to continue, for fear of an even larger misunderstanding, which happened in short order. I thought that a conversation was two or more people exchanging ideas and thoughts in a civil way, but she very shortly became less than civil. I could see that there was a misunderstanding and even though I tried, I couldn't repair it. When the conversation degraded to the point of me being told what I was thinking and what I was feeling (and most of that was completely off base), what I should be thinking and feeling, that I needed to stop thinking about what I needed, and swear words being thrown at me, I opted to step out of the conversation. I felt like there was just no constructive way for me to continue with this. There was no communication going on there, just the beginnings of verbal abuse. I wasn't aware that someone would address a friend in such a way.

Now there are hurt feelings on both sides. I'm told that I'm angry, although this is not the case. I don't feel angry, I feel hurt and disappointed and, right now, very leery of this person I consider to be a friend. I think I need to re-evaluate how much I share with people. I think I need to figure out just how much is safe to reveal and when to discontinue the involvement for my own safety. But there I am again, thinking of what I need, which is apparently a bad thing. I don't know how to repair this or if it is wise for me to try.

What do you all think out there? I know this is difficult, without knowing all the details and I am unwilling to divulge all the details on here on my blog. Do I have the wrong idea about how to communicate? Are my thoughts in a conversation not to be considered and are most conversations one-sided? I feel like each person is responsible for their own words, and I am taking full responsibility for mine.

1 comment:

yarnplayer said...

Sounds like the other person has her own problems that have nothing to do with you, so don't blame yourself.