Jun 23, 2007

Looking within and wondering what's there

I read a wonderful essay on the concept of beauty today. I understand that beauty is more than skin deep, and that personality counts as a large part of that beauty. I look at my Omar and see his sparkling personality, his quiet grace and tact, and his gentleness and understanding. It far outshines any physical beauty, although it certainly serves to enhance it.

I often have difficulty finding the beauty in myself. I seem to be plagued with misunderstandings lately, between family and friends, and these misunderstandings influence the way I view myself. I have, recently, learned that I am often too direct in stating my concerns. I'm not too sure why people do not react well to my direct, head-on approach, but I have not found another way of handling things that worry me, or that I feel need to be addressed. I have my thoughts about it, but those might be better off left out of this. I'm looking for a way to work my thoughts into a discussion or conversation with more tact and grace. I feel very lucky that I have Omar in my life, because he is able to discuss things with me, even though I have strong concerns about things and often butt into him head-on with these things and he hasn't run screaming from my life yet. For now, I think I'll just stop talking about misunderstandings and concerns before I put both of my feet even farther into my mouth than I already have. And then maybe I'll work my way back to finding the beauty in myself.


knitphomaniac said...

I know what you mean, about how others respond to being too direct. I'm one of those people who'll say exactly what I'm thinking - I rarely sugar-coat anything. It's unfortunately distanced a few people from me, and put me on a sour edge with coworkers at times, but in many cases, in the long run, being more direct often helped more than hurt, despite the sting of the initial reaction.

I have learned though, to be understanding of whom I'm speaking to. Some people can handle a more blunt opinion, despite their initial reaction, and there are others where I'm more cautious of how I address them. It's trial and error in a lot of cases.

kathleen said...

I guess I don't know when to keep my thoughts to myself and when to share them. That's the dilemma.