Sep 27, 2007

Stick Etiquette

Celeste has discovered sticks. They are her new favorite things. Last weekend, she destroyed her tennis ball at the park, so we searched around for something else to chase, and came up with a stick. I think it was like a revelation for her. Now there is a pile of tree branches and twigs on the bike path, and Celeste almost had a stroke when she saw it. She leaped into the middle of the pile searching for a loose stick. When she found one, she triumphantly carried it all the way back home, up the two flights of stairs, and into the apartment. The people on the street laughed and make their little comments, but Celeste knew that they had no idea just what they were missing, if they didn't have a stick of their own. So the people were forgiven or simply ignored as she paraded back home with her treasure between her teeth.

Advice from Celeste:

There is a specific way to destroy a stick. One has to peel the bark off and discard it in shreds around the living room, placing it just so, so that others will know that there is a stick in the house. It's kind of like leaving a trail of bread crumbs, so people can find their way to the actual stick and of course the stick chewer - that way they can watch in admiration and the owner of the stick resolutely destroys the stick.

After the stick is peeled, one has to start at one end of the stick and delicately CRUNCH the end, until the stick splinters or is mangled enough to fall on the floor. We do not eat the splintered bit; we only spit them out daintily in an secret pattern that only the stick owner understands. It also makes it easier for the serving maid to sweep them up. One can, however, carry the stick to various places within the abode, leaving small scatterings of saliva-covered wooden bits around, so that again one can be admired as the chewing talents develop.

Once the twig or stick is completely shredded, one should leave it for the servant to clean up, but do keep an eye out for those larger pieces that might be retrieved from the trash in cases of emergency - for example, one might find oneself without any toy whatsoever, and then the larger piece of stick serves as an excellent diversion and can also be scattered about the home as one deems necessary, although in smaller quantities. This is unimportant, for it still gives the servant a reason for being and allows her to feel needed within the household.

Photos to follow.

8 comments:

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Thank you for that advice dear Celeste! Perhaps you have been talking to my beautiful Sparky who does indeed do exactly as you have said.

Crystal xx

WesterWitch/Headmistress said...

Sticks . . .yeah they are ok in an emergency - although the man person wot lives here has a wonderful driftwood collection - although he seems to get a bit . . .well you know . .growly if I touch them.

Oh but have you discovered stones . . .now stones are the thing. You lick them and push them around and dig up the garden all around them. You can push them into the water and get covered in silt following after them.

What a shame we live so far apart - I could have shown you stones . . .

The terror owned by Westerwitch (jack Russell Terrier)

Elizabethd said...

Well done Celeste...obviously a 'lady' of great discernment.

wildtomato said...

Celeste, you have a very good servant! Where can I get one?

Pondside said...

So glad that Celeste has a servant to keep those new toys, I mean sticks in order!

kathleen said...

Yes, I am rather lucky to have stumbled across a good house maid. Good help is soooo difficult to find these days.

Stones? Hmm, I shall have to try one. At the moment, I have no access to stones of much size of quality. Everything here is groomed or paved - they don't seem to appreciate loose stones here in my part of town.

For that matter, they don't appreciate a quality stick when they see one, either. My sticks have been removed from the bicycle trail. I've searched the area, but they seem to have disappeared. I know those servant folk in the green jackets (city gardeners) took them away. How can I train these people? Some are simply untrainable. *sigh*

Celeste

Guinness & Shiloh's Family said...

Our servant - mom- plays with sticks and doesn't want us destroying them, sigh. That's okay, we don't like them anyway. Cashmere yarn is much tastier.

kasiaiscarly said...

he he! Zosia tries to find the biggest stick (log) she can when we go out in the woods. She tries to make do with pine cones when she is stuck in our backyard!