Feb 1, 2010

Safe - For the Moment

I have a confession to make...

When I was a child, a monster hid under the bed, only on MY side of the bed. My older sister may have had her own monster on her side, but I can't be sure. She never spoke of it. I don't know if it is common knowledge, but monsters often live under the beds of children. As I grew up, the monster stayed, but made itself less obvious, probably because of the increased activities of 4 adolescent girls. Still, at night, I had to stand back from the side of the bed and LEAP, from a distance of about 3 feet, into bed to keep the monster from grabbing me by the feet and dragging me under there so he could feast on little kid meat. And of course, COVERS were the only thing that actually kept me safe through the night. I was so thankful that I had my magic covers to stand between me and certain death at the hands of the monster under the bed. Without covers, it could have reached up and snatched me away in my dreams.

When I grew up, I got married and moved away, escaping the monster for a few years. But eventually, the monster tracked me down and once again crawled under my bed. I didn't see it, but one evening after a particularly stressful day, I felt its presence and had to leap into bed again. Imagine my chagrine. Twenty-something years old, and I had to leap 3 feet into my bed. I lived with that monster under the bed until getting divorced several years later. I managed to give it the slip again when I moved out and moved around for a few months. I moved into my own house in Cheyenne, and still manged to elude the under-the-bed monster.

PHEW!

And then I moved to Peru and got married to O, confident that the monster under the bed would never, ever be able to follow me across North, Central, and South Americas. And, until last night, I was sure that the monster hadn't figured out where I was, and maybe had even forgotten about me.

...end of confession...

I didn't feel that monster's presence, but last night in the middle of the night, when Celeste crept under the bed to her usual cool summertime sleeping spot, a struggle ensued with what I could only conclude was indeed the monster. She must have caught the monster unaware, and was about to catch him off-guard. For a few intense moments, there was a short battle that included some little barks and growls, and whimpers, some kicking, and then Celeste launched her most lethal attack yet - THE DEADLY GREEN GAS. There was a final kick to the mattress and the bed frame, a vicious growl, and then a soft sigh. Mercifully, a breeze came through the window and carried the remnants of the gas out...or maybe it was the monster, finally vanquished, that created the breeze when it leaped out the bedroom window to escape the deadly fumes.

A short time later, Celeste emerged from under the bed, rumpled and bearing a few dust bunnies (a sure sign that the monster had been there) on her coat, and crawled up onto the foot of the bed to sleep the deep sleep of a triumphant warrior. Luckily, she hadn't been suffocated by her own gas attack, which is always a danger to the novice monster hunter. Mission accomplished. The monster under the bed is gone - until next time.

8 comments:

Michelle said...

Hilarious!

Cait O'Connor said...

Great post.

Margaret Cloud said...

It sure took your monster enough time to leave, thanks to Celeste s gas, sick um. Thank you for coming by, have a nice week.

Pondside said...

I love it! There now, you can from now on rest assured that Celeste isn't just another pretty face - she is a Monster Slayer!

Stacey said...

Omg! Too funny! Did that ever bring back memories! I used to be afraid to even dangle my arm or get close to the side of the bed and I jumped into bed each night clear up in my 20's also! (I was a single mom and would not let my 2 year old sleep in his own room of our first rental house. I hope my monster does not come back either! Thanks for the giggles!:)

Harpa Jónsdóttir said...

A Monster slayer is a good thing to have around the house.

Margie said...

So funny!
Loved this!

kitkatknit said...

Not that we ever have any monsters under the bed but Juneau makes sure they never even venture into the house. pppffffttttt (puppy gas)